Jeremy Clarkson – National Treasure

I have enjoyed Top Gear but let’s get one thing clear. It’s a show about cars.

It does not excuse the presenters punching people in the face, taking the mickey out of the disabled or using racist terms that belong in the dustbin of history.

So, Mr Clarkson, this one is for you and the weird respect the public holds you in.

An audio link can be found here:

Jeremy Clarkson, National Treasure

Jeremy Clarkson, national treasure,

Can’t be judged by the usual measure,

Crashing his car into a tree,

Disparaging those with HIV

Would lead to sacking for any of us

In Jeremy’s case, they said ‘What’s the fuss?’

‘He’s into high jinks with his merry crew,

Just boys having fun, what are we s’posed to do?

Said civil servants deserved to be shot,

He gave a Nazi salute, so what?

So he told the viewers that we only see

Black Muslim Lesbians on the BBC’,

Wait, hang on a minute,  I seem to recall

I never saw one on his show, not at all.

Just three middle class men, as white as the snow

Laughing at Mexicans, having a go

At Japanese cars that look like the disabled

But who can blame them? It’s us who’ve enabled

These three adolescents to gob and to shout

About all these things they knew nothing about,

But if we’d said stop when he used the N-word,

(Although he denied it, we know what we heard),

He wouldn’t have punched that poor man in the face

Or called him those names to put him in his place,

A man that some people insist is at fault

For not getting Clarkson a steak, what a dolt!

For better or worse, our Jeremy’s finished

Perhaps  now Top Gear will be sadly diminished

And go the way of such popular shows

As Jim’ll Fix it, where anything goes,

But I hope what we learn from this sad history

Is we can’t blame this mess on just Jeremy,

We allowed him his faults, we excused him his crimes

Not once, not twice but time after time.

If we want future stars to have feet on the ground

We must curb bad behaviour the first time around.


  1. Marja de Bock · · Reply

    Hi James. Read some of your poems. Think the one on Clarckson is not the strongest, but that might be related to the subject, who is not so interesting himself. Loved the one about London.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Marja! Perhaps it’s not going to set the world on fire, but it was great fun to write. I can’t believe the number of awful things he’s done.


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