I have enjoyed Top Gear but let’s get one thing clear. It’s a show about cars.
It does not excuse the presenters punching people in the face, taking the mickey out of the disabled or using racist terms that belong in the dustbin of history.
Jeremy Clarkson, National Treasure
Jeremy Clarkson, national treasure,
Can’t be judged by the usual measure,
Crashing his car into a tree,
Disparaging those with HIV
Would lead to sacking for any of us
In Jeremy’s case, they said ‘What’s the fuss?’
‘He’s into high jinks with his merry crew,
Just boys having fun, what are we s’posed to do?
Said civil servants deserved to be shot,
He gave a Nazi salute, so what?
So he told the viewers that we only see
Black Muslim Lesbians on the BBC’,
Wait, hang on a minute, I seem to recall
I never saw one on his show, not at all.
Just three middle class men, as white as the snow
Laughing at Mexicans, having a go
At Japanese cars that look like the disabled
But who can blame them? It’s us who’ve enabled
These three adolescents to gob and to shout
About all these things they knew nothing about,
But if we’d said stop when he used the N-word,
(Although he denied it, we know what we heard),
He wouldn’t have punched that poor man in the face
Or called him those names to put him in his place,
A man that some people insist is at fault
For not getting Clarkson a steak, what a dolt!
For better or worse, our Jeremy’s finished
Perhaps now Top Gear will be sadly diminished
And go the way of such popular shows
As Jim’ll Fix it, where anything goes,
But I hope what we learn from this sad history
Is we can’t blame this mess on just Jeremy,
We allowed him his faults, we excused him his crimes
Not once, not twice but time after time.
If we want future stars to have feet on the ground
We must curb bad behaviour the first time around.